Dark night

Andrew's birthday was recently and I wanted to make it really special for him. I asked him if he could come over for a little bit after work that day, and he said yes. I made him a special dessert and lit a ton of candles and put them on the kitchen table, with a letter I had written for Andrew telling him how much he means to me. When he got there, he read the letter, and then got up and made me stop what I was doing, and hugged me for a long time. He said, "That was a very special letter. Thank you so much." And the way he said it, and how he reacted, I have never felt so appreciated for anything in my life. It was so tender. Then we ate together and it was really nice.

Wow, I love that man. So much.

Things have been a lot harder lately, since our trip. I rarely see Andrew anymore. I texted him and told him I missed him and he said, "This is a very hard time. Much was given the other day, now much is being required." I didn't see him for a few days, and after having seen him almost every day for a while, it nearly killed me! But before FHE, we stopped somewhere to kiss and spend some time together. Then, a few days later we got together again.

I didn't hear from him for a while until I posted something on my facebook that made him really angry and he said some mean things to me about it. But something really good came out of it, and it turns out, Andrew knew that it would and there was a purpose to it.

When he said those things, I was really hurt and I felt really misunderstood by him. He accused me of a lot of things that I felt were really incorrect and unfair. But it turned me to God. God knows me, He knows who I am, and He understands me perfectly. So I got on my knees and prayed and it brought me a lot of comfort. Andrew later told me that my fruit was getting to "wild" and I needed to be pruned. And he was right, because I got closer to God in the process.

But before Andrew and I made up, Monday night came. I didn't want to go to FHE and face them, plus my family was home for the holidays so I wanted to be with them. But I prayed about it and felt like I should go anyway, that God would be there with me. So I went and it was ok. Andrew just ignored me and didn't make eye contact all night. But Rebecca had gone out and bought me a special treat, and that was so sweet. So I'm glad I went.

Then, the other day, I felt a prompting to go to the Adlers, just for the day. So I called up Natalie and asked her if that would be okay. Later I got a call from Rebecca and she said it would be great. So I took the bus and it was a perfect day! Natalie really needed to get some homework done, but Rebecca needed a lot of help around the house and stuff. Then Andrew was able to come home and have some personal time with Natalie.