Monday, November 2, 2009

Dynamics

I'm curious if any of those of you who practice or have practiced polygamy can relate to the dynamics of being with various combinations of those involved in your relationship. Tonight I was just thinking about it as Rebecca drove me home while Natalie was with us. It's a totally different feeling than, say, just me and Rebecca. And I have experienced every possible combination: Andrew and me, Rebecca and me, Natalie and me. Andrew and Rebecca and me, Rebecca and Natalie and me, Andrew and Natalie and me. And all four of us together. I think that is one of the neatest things about polygamy is the variety you get just by hanging out with someone else for a while. With two people...that's all it ever is. Not that that's a bad thing, but I have discovered this new thing about polygamy that I never thought of before, and I'm glad I am able to experience it.

Natalie and I are best friends, so when we're together, I think we act most like a couple. We flirt, but also joke around. Rarely too serious, because even when we are discussing serious things, it feels lighthearted.

Andrew and I are still in the twitterpatey infatuation stage, so that is of course wonderful, but it's quite different from when Natalie and I are together because I barely know Andrew and I'm not completely comfortable around him. Plus, he's so much older than I, so it's tough to relate to him.

When Rebecca and I are together, it's just kind of hard. Our personalities are dramatically different and I don't think she has taken down all the walls between us, so it's usually just a little awkward and strained.

Rebecca+Natalie+me: They are both so close, that they just talk and I listen silently.

Rebecca+Andrew+me: I actually really enjoy this one. Rebecca is a totally different person around Andrew. She comes alive and is so likable. They work so well together. I watched them make dinner together the other night and it was nice to just be there. I'm pretty silent in this situation too.

Andrew+Natalie+me: My favorite so far. Andrew really likes Natalie's relationship with me, he loves us as friends and lovers. Also, we know about each other's relationship with him and he knows we know, so that creates this special and unsaid bond between the three of us.

All four of us: This hasn't really happened yet, because when it's all four of us, it's because we are doing some family thing, so their 8 kids are with us too, and none of them know about this situation, so we can't be open about it. But I think if it were the four of us alone, it would be a very special thing.

Just some thoughts.

2 Comments:

At November 9, 2009 at 10:46 AM , Blogger Una said...

Hi Felicity,
I just found your blog the other day, and real all the posts.
For most of it, I was thinking, you are who you are, and where you are, and that's ok. Hopefully it will settle down.
But I have to put my two cents in here about something:

You said "She (Natalie) has the same kind of relationship and we both have to keep it from Rebecca, so we truly are in the same boat."

Felicity that is SO WRONG!
What he is doing is getting a little fun on the side, without his REAL wife knowing about it. I know you're not having sex but he is in his 40's and you two are in your 20's, and his WIFE doesn't know there's all this kissing and touching going on.
What if the Church DOESN'T bring it back, or at least not in your lifetime? Did God tell you WHEN it would come back? And did he say here on this Earth?
What will you be to them?

But I stand my ground in saying that if Rebecca doesn't know everything it is really wrong. It's lying and deceitful.

Sorry to be so harsh.

Peace,
Una

 
At November 10, 2009 at 7:25 AM , Blogger Helene said...

I'm following this blog too, and I can't figure out who knows what, and why, and what role the knowing or not knowing plays in the building of a family.

 

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