Waiting is my lot in life.

I logged in today and saw that I have two followers. Hi! I'm sorry to not have posted in so long, but there really is nothing to say! Nothing has changed and I'm just biding my time until I can return to the city where Natalie lives (I live far away from her) so I can sort everything out. There is going to be a lot of waiting involved in this process, I better get used to it.

I wrote an email to Andrew out, but I haven't sent it yet. I was sitting in stake conference a while ago and I felt very strongly that I need to talk to Andrew about this and be honest with him. But I am really scared. So I'm saving it until I finally give in and send it.

I am still active in my church, but lately I have been wanting to practice polygamy so bad that I'm considering moving to a community and just doing it. Is that horrible? Maybe even just practice it in secret and still go to church. I hate that the Church doesn't practice it anymore and that there's such a stigma about it. We are the ones who introduced it to the U.S.!! What is our problem?? Why isn't it taught anymore? It says in our own Church produced documents that we cannot be saved without the Principle. Why are we only taught that marriage between one man and one woman is sacred and ordained of God? What does that say about the marriages of those (including one of our very own apostles) who are participating in plural marriages right now?? It's just frustrating. I'm considering talking to my bishop about it, but what good would it do? I don't think anything is going to change my mind. Plural marriage is a higher way and I really think we should be practicing it and I don't want to be damned because I'm not. Period.

Anyway in other aspects, life is very good. I'm home for the summer, taking a lot of ballet classes, and I've really gotten into Big Love lately. It's not what I thought it was and I'm pleasantly surprised. Enjoying some white lilacs I picked the other day. Summer is on its way... :D