Thursday, April 30, 2009

Waiting is my lot in life.

I logged in today and saw that I have two followers. Hi! I'm sorry to not have posted in so long, but there really is nothing to say! Nothing has changed and I'm just biding my time until I can return to the city where Natalie lives (I live far away from her) so I can sort everything out. There is going to be a lot of waiting involved in this process, I better get used to it.

I wrote an email to Andrew out, but I haven't sent it yet. I was sitting in stake conference a while ago and I felt very strongly that I need to talk to Andrew about this and be honest with him. But I am really scared. So I'm saving it until I finally give in and send it.

I am still active in my church, but lately I have been wanting to practice polygamy so bad that I'm considering moving to a community and just doing it. Is that horrible? Maybe even just practice it in secret and still go to church. I hate that the Church doesn't practice it anymore and that there's such a stigma about it. We are the ones who introduced it to the U.S.!! What is our problem?? Why isn't it taught anymore? It says in our own Church produced documents that we cannot be saved without the Principle. Why are we only taught that marriage between one man and one woman is sacred and ordained of God? What does that say about the marriages of those (including one of our very own apostles) who are participating in plural marriages right now?? It's just frustrating. I'm considering talking to my bishop about it, but what good would it do? I don't think anything is going to change my mind. Plural marriage is a higher way and I really think we should be practicing it and I don't want to be damned because I'm not. Period.

Anyway in other aspects, life is very good. I'm home for the summer, taking a lot of ballet classes, and I've really gotten into Big Love lately. It's not what I thought it was and I'm pleasantly surprised. Enjoying some white lilacs I picked the other day. Summer is on its way... :D


At May 3, 2009 at 2:40 AM , Blogger Big Love over Logic said...

Oh, white lilacs, I love lilacs. I'm looking forward to leaving Arizona and being able to grow things that don't grow well here in the desert.

I'm glad I found your blog, it's nice to find others who believe polygamy is a blessing from God as well. While it is a struggle when you have been given the testimony for it, we believe the rewards down the road are worth anything we go through at this time. That said, it doesn't make our difficulties any less difficult now, does it?

I try to think of it in this way...Think back to when you were going through the most difficult time in your life...Now, while doing that...Knowing what you know now, how can you see where God was working in your life? What did you learn and how did you grow as you went through this difficulty? Someday, you will be able to look back on this time in your life and you will be able to see how God was working in your life. You will know the rewards were worth it.

Big Love is a great show, I am addicted ;) Sometimes the writing disappoints me. Sometimes I don't feel the writers stay true to who they have written certain characters to be...But it's's then I have to remember it's a show, I enjoy it anyway.

Blessings, M


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