Thursday, January 29, 2009

Beginning Part I

My first exposure to polygamy was when I joined the Church. I was 18 years old and dating this wonderful guy named Kyle. Kyle was a very upright, valiant, laid-back, funny guy who was preparing for a mission at the time. We had been dating for about two months, and by this time were discussing getting married when he returned from his mission, and I half jokingly mentioned to him that if I ever died, I didn't want him to get resealed to another woman. I thought that he would tell me of course he would never do that, but he paused and then said "I can't promise you anything." He then went on to explain that it wouldn't be right to deny the woman he married the priesthood. I was horrified.

The thing is...in some ways polygamy in and of itself makes no sense to me. I do not understand why it is such a great, glorious, eternal principle. But when I try to justify my reasons for hating it, I can't. There are no justifiable reasons for disliking the practice. The only real reason I could come up with was that it made me jealous. Of course I don't want to share my husband with anyone in eternity and if I am alive, I don't want my husband sleeping with anyone else! Jealousy is not a good enough reason to refuse to practice polygamy. But it is the only reason I can come up with.

I shunned Kyle for a while. One day while I was at work, I pondered the situation in depth. I rolled it around and around in my mind until there just wasn't anything to think about it anymore. At the beginning of the day, I was ready to not only break up with Kyle, but bash his head in. By the end of the day, I accepted it. It was like an invisible switch was flipped and I found myself filled with love for Kyle and support for him to do what he knew was right. I had no idea where this feeling was coming from, but it was there.

The next day, I went over to his house and told him what had happened. When I had finished the story, Kyle gasped and told me that he had been fasting for me. He told me he had ended it about 9:00 that night, which was when my emotions changed. I not only gained a testimony in polygamy but also in fasting. How marvelous was this occurrence.

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